Clodagh Borrett

Positive potty training…in seven days!

Posted on May 17, 2022November 16, 2022 by Clodagh Borrett

Dustin and Janneke van de Sande live in the Netherlands with their three children, Jasmijn, 10, Sebas, nine and Morris, seven. They founded Potty Training Box in 2018 and have since sold over 20,000 boxes, helping parents all over the world potty train their children in a week. Clodagh Borrett chats with Dustin to find out what their style of potty training is all about and how it can help you.

How did you go about potty training your own children?

When my daughter was two-and-a-half we asked ourselves, ‘when do we do this? How do we do this?’. Janneke read a lot, but there wasn’t much about a hands-on approach around. We didn’t want to potty train for months (where you get a potty and let your child sit on it occasionally), so we agreed upon a timeline. We decided on a week. We liked the idea of a shorter time where you do it intensely and with a lot of attention and devotion.

How did that week go?

She was not getting it, even at day five. There were many accidents and we thought it wasn’t going to work but remembered we agreed on the week and wanted to see how it would go. At the end of day five she really got the message. She improved by day six and by day seven she was potty trained. We were so happy! Our second son was also two-and-a-half and took to it very quickly. By day three he was getting it. Every child is different.

When did you begin to think of sharing your potty training tactics?

Our friends wanted to hear more about our programme. One friend thought it wasn’t going to work, so we coached her through and on day seven she was potty trained. Around this time, we saw on the news that many children were going to school in nappies and teachers were having to change them. That’s when I thought we should do something because many parents struggle with potty training. They don’t know what to do, how to start or what to expect.

How did you bring all your ideas to life?

In 2018 I wrote down everything, every day, when potty training our third child Morris. What we did and how it worked. We then sold it in the Netherlands, and it worked very well. We included a support group on Facebook because our goal is to help parents – we wanted to create a personalised experience, so if you have any questions you can ask. We want to guide you through the potty-training process so you can finish with a good result.

I love the idea of having everything in a box. What does it contain?

Our boxes are £23 and come with a booklet with the potty-training programme, which you should read before you start. There are coaching cards because during the week you won’t want to keep scrolling through the booklet for suggestions. There are daily summary cards with steps and compliments you can give and things you can do to create enthusiasm, along with schedules and sticker cards, to reward the child. A certificate is given to the child when the programme is completed.

So, there is a lot of positive encouragement in your programme?

Parents struggle during potty training. What I say about our box is with the information you also get a positive and realistic mindset. During the first day, you can have 20 accidents but if you don’t know that beforehand you might be tempted to give up. We say don’t stop, continue and you see your child grow in confidence.

What is the daily structure of the week?

Stay at home for the first three days. Do your groceries and errands beforehand and cook when the child is asleep. You must be prepared and available when your child walks around, keeping very close attention to them for the first three days. At day four you move to the big toilet and day 5 is about going outside and making short trips.

Is there an average age for potty training?

I think it depends on the country. In the Netherlands the age is older because the children go to school at age four and in Britain it’s three. Parents are guided by the government lines for the preschool. Our advice is two-and-a-half because they will be ready mentally and physically but if your child is showing interest in the potty, or they see you go to the toilet and are interested, those are signals that you can start. It’s more difficult at two but if you have the extra interest and signals, like them saying their nappy is wet, then their mind is already going towards potty training.

If you’re not getting any signals from your child but they’re older, can you still start?

Our two boys had no interest, so when they were two-and-a-half we just said let’s do it. We made it an adventure, so took them shopping for their new ‘grown up’ underwear, which they chose and found exciting. Get them enthusiastic before they start the programme. You don’t have to push it, but you can teach your child like the way you teach them to ride a bike or brush their teeth. With fun and devotion. You see them developing and growing in the week. Our kids would’ve worn nappies for months if we hadn’t shown them what to do in that week.

Is potty training different for every child?

Not all their children train the same. We have clients where one child didn’t need the box, but the other one did. We have children with learning difficulties, who train much later, respond very well to our boxes and inevitably train with them. One parent was told by a doctor her child would never be potty trained but did with our box. We have to respect every child is different and understand that when taking on something like potty training. And just try and make it fun for them, with encouragement and understanding. They’ll get there in the end.

Dustin’s potty training top tips!

Buy what you need beforehand…

You need 10-15 pairs of underwear to prepare for accidents. Protect your furniture, buys pads for your pram. You’ll need a potty of course and a little seat for the toilet and a step for them because the toilet can be scary.

Keep it calm…
If you’re experiencing change or upheaval like moving or there is a new baby in the house, I’d suggest waiting to train. You need a calm setting and total focus. Anything that distracts you isn’t helpful, so it’s best to do it when you have minimal things going on.

Swap shifts…

Take turns with your partner. You need to be consistent and follow the exact same instructions. Our programme isn’t set in stone, though. Think about what works best for your child, you can change it to suit.

Stay positive…

Don’t see accidents as a failing but a moment your child learnt instead. She felt it, saw it was an accident and in her mind thinks ‘next time when I feel this I have to go’. Keep it positive and encourage learning.

Don’t worry about night times…

When the child is ready, they’ll tell you when they want to sleep without nappies at night. You can’t really train for this, because you can wake children up every time they go. About two months after potty training our kids were dry at night as well but it depends on the child.

You can try the Potty Training Box method for yourself at pottytrainingbox.co.uk

Into the woods

Posted on April 22, 2022November 16, 2022 by Clodagh Borrett

I recently enrolled my toddler in Forest School and it’s helped her development immensely. As someone new to the concept, I wanted to find out more. I interviewed the brilliant Kirsty Meekings, a Forest School Practioner in Southeast London, to find out just what it is about Forest School that makes it so special and is it for everyone?

What lead you to Forest School?

I really want children to experience being outside. Its my passion. I trained as a primary school teacher and when I had my own kids I became a childminder, so I could be at home with them while working. I live around the corner from Bostall Woods in Greater London and we’d be there a lot, whatever the season. I had a stack of waterproof onesies and a double buggy round those woods, come rain or shine! It was then I learned that slowing down is magic and going at the speed of the child makes all the difference. I was happier outside and once they started school in 2016 I didn’t want to go back to the classroom.

How did you get involved?

I’d heard of Forest School through early years groups and blogs. I’ve never been comfortable with the English education system getting children in school environments and testing them earlier and earlier. I took part in the Let Our Kids be Kids campaign in 2016, where we took our kids out of school for a day to protest high pressure testing for young children. British primary school children are the most tested in Europe. Not enough energy is spent on development, which is different for every child. Some are physical, others more verbal, for example. Sometimes you have half a class of six-year-olds who have never climbed a tree. I really wanted to encourage confidence outside instead and after hearing about it I felt Forest School would be brilliant for that.

How would you describe Forest School?

We focus on taking inspiration from the seasons, the weather and natural resources provided by the woodland environment for crafts, stories and activities. Regular attendance throughout the year builds connection to the space, forming a relationship between the environment and people in the group. It came to the UK in 1992 from Scandinavia, although outdoor learning always comes and goes in cycles. The first outdoor school in England was actually in Bostall Woods in 1905, mainly for children from the city with breathing difficulties.

What usually happens at a Forest School session?

We start with talking about what the weather is like and whether we’ve noticed changes in the environment. We take a mindful moment to breathe, look around and be quiet. Forest School is child lead, so I provide stimulus and craft and the kids do what they want – make dens, climb trees, go bug hunting. I’m there to facilitate and supervise with tools, making swings, anything. Then we’ll have hot chocolate, regroup and talk about what everyone did and learnt. I once had a six and 11-year-old come who had no idea what to do when they arrived. They eventually went off and made a beautiful, intricate nest in the fork of a tree. They talked me through what they’d put in it. Because they chose what to do, they created something fascinating.

How did you train to become a Forest School Practitioner?

There are different levels of qualification. I did a Level 3 qualification, where I learnt theory and practical skills, like fire lighting and cooking with fire, and lots of coursework. We put up den shelters, learnt how to use tools safely, studied flora and fauna and the theorists behind them. We then had to run a pilot programme of six sessions, which was an amazing experience. It was a fantastic nine months and people with various backgrounds were studying with me.

How can it benefit children?

Parents fear children getting hurt and it’s stopping them from enjoying experiences. Our programmes are a chance for kids to take risks and assess the risks themselves. Giving them a chance to climb a tree and ask questions like, ‘Is this strong enough to hold my weight? Is it dead or alive? Will I get stuck?’, gives them confidence in their own instincts. We avoid saying ‘be careful’ because what does that mean? You’re up a tree regardless! Instead, we ask them, ‘How do you feel up there? Do you feel safe?’ I teach children about ‘uh oh’ feelings – if something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. They can apply this to all sorts of things in life – from crossing the road to stranger danger. We’re not always going to be there for our kids, so let’s give them strong risk analysis skills.

What are the benefits of Forest School?

We’re losing the skills of identifying plants and now Apple and Blackberry are immediately associated with mobile phones! David Attenborough said, ‘You can’t care for a world you haven’t experienced’ and I think that ethos is so important. If a child finds a pile of stones, you can link them to the geology of the area, for example. We’ve dug out natural clay from the earth and sculpted faces out of it. Fresh air and green space are also so good for our physical and mental health. We absorb Mycobacterium Vaccae from the soil through our skin, which triggers a release of serotonin – the ‘happy hormone’. This is essential for kids.

Are schools embracing this way of learning?

Some schools are incorporating Forest Schools into their curriculum. I am a practitioner at two schools that have designated Forest School areas. There is currently a campaign going for schools to increase the nature premium, like they do with sports, for example.

How can we incorporate the Forest School way into our everyday lives?

Start slowly. There are kids who’ve been brought up to ‘keep clean’ and don’t like bugs, for example, so don’t expect too much right away. Go at the child’s pace. Stop, slow down and notice things. Allow time to climb trees and jump in puddles. Bring plenty of snacks and water and go out in all weathers. If you won’t want to go out in the rain, you’ll never leave the house!

Kirsty’s Top Tips on… What to Wear

Cold Weather, look for…
– Longer tops to tuck into trousers
– A scarf and hat
– Tights or thermals under trousers
– Waterproof outer layers
– Trousers tucked into socks
– Fleece-lined snow boots

Avoid…
– Wellies – hopeless for warmth and slippery
– Gloves – can get in the way of exploring

Warm Weather, look for…

– Arms and legs should still be protected (from scratches, bites and sun)
– Long sleeve cotton tops, leggings and thin pairs of trousers
– A hat for when in the sun

Avoid…
– Anything brand new and expensive!
– Second hand is best for outdoor clothes, as they’ll get dirty and are for seasonal use.

Room to grow

Posted on April 14, 2022November 16, 2022 by Clodagh Borrett

Dominique Lyons is an interior designer and founder of Kids Rule Interiors. She focuses on transforming children’s bedrooms and play spaces with her innovative e-consultation service. We caught up with her to find out how we can make our kids’ spaces rule too.

When did you start your company, Kids Rule?

I was a building’s archaeologist and taught children how to dig for artefacts and it was around that time I transitioned to being a nursery practitioner. I realised parents didn’t understand how to put things in their homes in the right place and just be practical. It’s a niche I thought would be great to explore. My son tidies up his room himself because he knows where everything goes and it’s all within reach. It’s that simple. So, in late 2018 I started doing it properly and started Kids Rule.

What services do you offer?

I have an e-design service. My clients fill out a questionnaire and we have a consultation, so I can get an idea of what they want. Then I create a couple of concept designs. If, for example, a child wants a space-themed room I do one concept that’s very child-centric and over-the-top and then I do one that’s more liveable for the parents. They choose the concept they like then I do a full design for them and a clickable shopping list, within their budget, that they can buy from as and when it suits. It can be as lengthy or short of a process as people want it to be. They can be involved as they want.

How much input do the children have?

It’s tricky because for a normal designer, the clients are the bill payers, but not in my case! My work completely depends on the family. For some projects, the children have free reign. I’ve done Lightening McQueen beds with turquoise walls and lightning bolts everywhere (they were removable!) but the parents were happy to just close the door and it’s fine.

What to do you have in mind when you’re creating concepts?

A child’s room should be fun, and it should help them be more confident. My philosophy is all about helping children be more independent and confident within themselves. Having a space where they can be creative, organise themselves, put things away and have space to play and do activities is what you want. It really helps children blossom.

How do you design a functioning space?

I like to know things about the families. For example, how active the family is or how many interests they have. Do they have a playroom, or do they do lots of things in the kitchen? How do they use their space? Then I like to create different zones with storage in the zones. So, books will be near the reading corner, small world toys will be near a nice open floor space so they can be pulled out and played with and put back right next to where they were playing. It just makes everything flow and a lot easier.

What are the most common design problems parents face?

It’s often a storage issue or a dilemma fitting different activities into the one space. People aren’t clear on how to do zoning effectively. For example, if your child is an avid painter, then making a space work in a bedroom for that kind of activity can be tricky but it’s doable. Different height desks and chairs for different activities really helps. For one little girl’s room I created a reading nook with pillows and a canopy, but the room also served as a guest room, so I chose quite grown-up wallpaper that a child would also like.

Have you had a client with multiple children in one room?

I had one family who had to move their teenage son in with his eight-year-old brother! It wasn’t a big room, but I gave him a study area and a black metal bunk bed with a double on the bottom. The younger one loved being on top and the teenager was pleased with the double bed, so they were both happy. One client has a triple-decker bed because their boys want to share. They have a very big house and because they’re all in together they have another room as a playroom. Each family is different, with different routines and priorities.

How do you create a space for expressive play?

One play area is enough because you only have so much space. It can be for Duplo, puzzles or the dolls house, but the key thing is having storage in those zones to put everything away. The storage surrounding the zones should be low level and not too heavy. We’re more aware of the importance of play these days and I think because of lockdowns people saw how children are affected by clutter and mess. It can cause stress for them and doesn’t help them play.

Do you work with second hand items?

Currently it tends to be if people have an heirloom cot, for example, that’s been passed down that they’d like to use. Or furniture that’s already in their home and they want to repurpose, which happens quite often. I ask people if they have things they want to keep, and we work from there. I’d definitely like to do more with second hand items in the future.

Dominique’s top tips for happy spaces

Use multi-purpose furniture.
A chest of drawers for a changing table, for example, is great because you don’t really need
a changing table, you just need a sturdy surface. Then you have a piece that’ll be there until
the child leaves home and even longer. Wardrobes, bookshelves and good storage grow
with a child. You don’t need to buy nursery specific furniture.

Know your child’s habits before buying.
Think about big purchases like a Montessori bed. Will it work for your child? My son stayed
in his cot bed till he was four because was perfectly cosy. It’s tempting to buy ahead of time
but maybe introducing a bed once they know bedtime is bedtime. Around six might be a
good age. Whereas introducing it straight after a cot bed is not always the easiest transition.

Teach tidying up.
Tidying up can be part of play and part of your daily routine, so before dinner you tidy your room and it’s easier that way. They tidy up at nursery, so they can tidy up at home too. Make it a competition! How many blocks can you put away or who can do it the quickest?

Invest in great storage
Ikea Exhibit Cube shelves are ideal. You can get lovely baskets for them, but you can change them very easily to suit the look of the room. Alternate baskets styles that are easy to get out. Take them wherever you want to play and then put them back when you’re done. They last forever and work well for toy display.

Visit kidsruleinteriors.com for inspiring ideas and to book your e-consultation with Dominique.

Do we really need this?

Posted on April 8, 2022November 16, 2022 by Clodagh Borrett

Becoming a parent for the first time can be a daunting prospect and there are so many things you need to buy before the little one’s arrival… Or are there? In the interest of avoiding waste, myTOT’s Head of Content Clodagh asks experienced parents about their most used items and the ones you should avoid altogether.

Bill, are you there?’ I shout, as I hold my arms out in front of me like an overtired mummy zombie. We’re in the kitchen and the whole room is filling up with steam. I shuffle about a bit, blinded by the warm condensation, and hit my knee on the corner of the bin. ‘I told you we didn’t need a steriliser!’ he said. ‘But, but… That magazine said we’d need one!’

Ok, so I exaggerate. The room wasn’t totally filled with steam. It wasn’t a Chandler/Jack Gellar/sauna/lap situation. I’ve used artistic licence to set the scene, but it was blooming steamy once the bottle steriliser got turned on. So steamy in fact, Bill was worried the wallpaper would peel off and took it outside to turn it on. After about four days of plein air sterilising I’d had enough. It was bad enough that I was still going through the early days of figuring out breastfeeding on zero sleep but now I had to contend with a facial every time I wanted to feed my baby top-up formula? This was not going to work, no siree. ‘How else can we clean bottles?’ I asked him, sensing a hungry baby meltdown at any second. ‘Mum said we can just boil them in a pan. That’s what she did.’ And, it turns out, that’s what we did. For a whole year. All we had to do was rinse the bottles, place them in a pan filled with some water, pop on a lid and wait for it to boil. No bells, no whistles, no hefty price tag. And no clunky machine taking up loads of space.

Now, we didn’t buy this item because we either try borrowing things or buying them second hand for much cheaper. But I know most parents have regretted certain purchases they were told they couldn’t live without. We’ve parted with cash and stepped over piles of stupid, useless things left unused for months because the marketing guys sniffed out our naïve anxiety like the Highway Rat in a cakeshop. There are also brilliantly useful things out there that make everything better and to them we say THANK YOU FOR EXISTING, YOU EXCELLENT INVENTIONS YOU. Here are mine and other parents’ best and worst baby purchases – don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Clodagh’s best

The Ergobaby Aura Wrap was a game-changer. Our daughter felt snug wrapped up on my chest, always slept and instantly stopped crying in our second hand wrap. It’s lightweight and super comfy, albeit a bit lengthy, so careful of puddles when putting it on.

Our sleep pod really helped her sleep because she felt enclosed. After she grew out of it at three months we co slept, but I was grateful to have my own space in the bed to rest and recover in those early days.

Dr Brown’s Anti-Colic Bottles saved us. Our daughter was particularly refluxy and had suspected colic but after we switched to these bottles for her top-up formula, it all went away (along with long and extensive burping – a serious must). The 100% vacuum-free vent system meant she didn’t take in extra air, so avoided painful trapped wind.

Clodagh’s worst

Anything marketed for ‘tummy time’ is best avoided. We were told it’s some big milestone and bought colourful playmats and all sorts of other stuff to try get our daughter to lift her head up while lying on her tummy. She barely lifted her head for months, not because she was behind but because she couldn’t be bothered. Just relax and save your cash.

I pimped out our Ikea Antilop highchair. Why I felt the need to make a plastic chair designed to be covered in banana mush and pasta sauce cute is beyond me. I spent £25 on a second hand Liberty print high chair cushion that I was scared would stain, so took it off at every meal anyway.

Mamas and Papas swaddle wrap blanket. This was just… An epic fail. No matter what way we tried it, the blasted thing wouldn’t work. I ended up preferring swaddling our daughter in large muslins and thin blankets.

Expectation vs Reality

Annabelle Lee, Hastings

The best. Our son absolutely loved his Jumparoo, which we got second hand. For four months he jumped and jumped. It tired him out and I could get stuff done. Not all babies like them, so things like that are always worth getting second hand.

Babygrows with zips are so much easier. I got a bundle of 10 for £20 second hand, all lovely quality and great condition. They’re absolutely brilliant for night feeds.

The worst. Baby towels and those cute dressing gowns look adorable, but you really don’t need to put them on babies! Any newborn ‘outfits’ are a waste of time – they just wear babygrows for months.

Don’t buy breast pads before you have a baby – wait and see if you need them. A fancy breast pump was also a waste of money for me. I found the £10 Hakka pumps are so effective. You put them on a boob, while you’re feeding on the other one, and it collects milk, without you having to do anything. If you’re just wanting to express the odd bottle a Hakka pump is great.

Helen Wright, London

The best. A clip-on highchair was the best thing for us. It’s ideal for Airbnb and travel in general. Not to mention friends and family who don’t have baby stuff at their house. We used the Phil and Ted Lobster and couldn’t do without it.

Kendall Bauer, Liverpool

The best. I loved the Ollie swaddle. I tried so many swaddles and the Ollie was by far my favourite.

The worst. Our most unused item was the stupid bottle warmer! Why did I even waste my time when all I had to do was run it under warm water or just let my kid drink it cold?

Etta Watkins, London

The best… so far! In my ten days of experience with my newborn, the best thing I’ve purchased has been a breast feeding pillow and anything that vibrates like the Rockit.

Kirstin Fitzgerald-Pull, Surrey

The best. The Baby Bjorn Balance bouncer is amazing. Our daughter used it from eight weeks old and is still using it now at almost two. It folds flat and can be hidden under the sofa. Babies moving makes it rock itself and toddlers get their own chair to relax in.

Our MAM baby bottle was brilliant. They literally sterilise themselves and come completely apart, so no chance of crud build-up in the corners. We’re still using the ones we got when I was pregnant.

The worst. Muslins. I’m not saying they’re totally useless. Wiping little bits of spit up, a handy cover when pumping in public and ideal for using as baby strait jackets to swaddle but why everyone says you need so many I will never know! When I was pregnant every mum told me I needed as many as I could get my hands on. I ended up with around 15 and only needed two to three, really.

Socks don’t stay on, or the washing machine eats them. When it’s cold I just went for tights under trousers as an added layer, or footie onesies.

A wipe warmer. Why!? They don’t need to be a thing and you won’t have it on you in public, anyway.

A monitor for a newborn is not always needed. You never leave them because for the first three months they’re attached to you. We ended up giving the one we borrowed back and never replaced it because we all shared a bedroom for the first 18 months.

Playmats and baby gyms are lovely in theory but take up so much space for the time baby uses it, so we ended up putting ours away. Lay a blanket down and use things like egg boxes, books or rice in empty bottles to entertain your baby.

Laura Marie, London

The best. We love the Yoyo pram. I wouldn’t have been able to travel with my travel system pram, as it’s too big for the plane. The Yoyo is a must if you tend to travel a lot and use public transport.

The worst. A waste of money was buying dummies and bottles “just in case” breastfeeding didn’t work. I bought quite a few bottles and she always refused to take them.

So there you have it…

Parenting is a learning curve and making mistakes is all part of the, erm, fun? But hopefully we’ve helped you avoid some frustrating purchasing mistakes and sent you in the right direction towards some great items that will make things easier for you. Ultimately, whatever you decided to buy or do for your little one is what is right for them (but seriously, a wipe warmer? That is bonkers.) so you do you mamas and papas!